...Plain Upon Tablets

I was blessed to have a grandmother with six beautiful sisters--women who were bold, funny, kind, encouraging, and faithful among so many other wonderful things. Let's get BOLD! In picture: back row l-r: Aunt Caroline, Aunt Lee, Grandma Audrey; front row l-r: Aunt Margie, Aunt Blanche, and Aunt Ethel; missing from pic: Aunt Edna When my grandmother Audrey passed in 1998, one of these awesome women stepped up to encourage me along my journey: my aunt Blanche. My Grandma Audrey and me at my B.A. graduation My grandmother was a fervent believer of God. Never knew anyone who believed more or loved him more (though my mom is close behind her and Aunt Blanche is tied). She was the one who constantly kept me in the faith, and she was the one left heartbroken when I had my moment of disbelief in God. She wouldn't know that losing her and then my grandfather four months later would only deepen that disbelief. My great-aunt Blanche About a year after Grandma passed, Aunt Blanche began w...

Lord God, I will not put you in a box. I trust your ways and know that they are not my ways. From Joel Osteen's "Finished with Fear" Collection: If the only way you're going to be happy is if it happens your way, you're setting yourself up for disappointment .

One of my favorite lines from the bible comes from James 2:14-26, NKJV : "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." We need to have faith, the belief, the trust, the confidence, that God has us and is and will provide for us, but we also need to demonstrate that faith. It's wonderful to pray, but God wants to SEE us in action, too. If you've been struggling to lose weight and have been praying to God for the strength to do so, what are you doing to show your faith in the issue? You might cut your portions for one meal a day for starters, eventually cutting portions in all meals. You might start exercising ten minutes, three times a week for a week or two; then move to 15 minutes, three times a week; eventually moving up to 30 minutes for more than three times a week. The point is by doing so, you are saying, I have faith in you and because I do, I am doing my part in this agreement between us. In Mark 2:5, a paralyzed ma...

No, sorry, it's not THAT kind of party. I just knew the title would get you here. The post IS about stripping, however, so sit back, have a read, and learn a bit more about me. I do believe things happen for a reason, so I should have known that reading a post about "dying to self" from fellow author and Tag Team Sister in Christ Tracey Michae'l Lewis-Giggetts would propel me into my own dying episode. Yesterday was a bad day for me. A lot of things in my life are coming to head. Recently, I compared it to an abscess, this growing pocket of pus that's so ready to be popped so that the poison can drain away, the pain can subside, and things can be made well. I went to sleep with a heavy heart and woke up tired, battered, and a little bruised. I went to Facebook on my phone and saw I had a response on a quote I posted the day before by poet Gwendolyn Brooks: "I am a writer perhaps because I am not a talker." A friend of mine, jokingly (kind of...

I do love Chrisette Michele's song, "Epiphany," but I use a line of her song as title because yesterday, something came to me suddenly: an epiphany. For just a split second, I was sitting at my laptop, having full-blown angst over trying to get my mind, my energy to focus on something, anything, when I got quiet. It was no longer than a minute. But I didn't hear the TV. I wasn't thinking. It was full, complete silence. And in that one-minute of silence, I heard one sentence: Nothing inspires me . And I tilted my head to the side, thought about the sentence and said, "That's it." Since the new year, there has been a change in me. I would argue the "change" started months before this, but I felt its presence strongly after the new year. But I didn't see it as me being uninspired. I saw it as issues with me. I was very depressed in January, and I spent a great deal of time being mad at myself for feeling the way I did. I struggled with tho...

Happy New Year, Everyone! I've been on (and still am on) vacay, so I was away from the blog, but I plan to get back into the swing of things - especially with me going back to Lubbock at the end of the week and with school starting next week. If you follow me on any of the social watering holes like Twitter {I'm HERE }, Facebook {and HERE }, and MySpace {and HERE , too!}, you know that the semester ended pretty well for me. Despite my issues and wishes to flee Lubbock for Lake Charles, I finished the semester with great grades and even a few papers that sparked me into General Dissertation Thoughts. Always a good thing. The biggest thing I learned over this semester was if I could succeed when I felt so overwhelmed, so unstructured, so unprepared, so un-everything, then with more organization and preparation (and heavy, heavy doses of God and prayers), I can shoot for beyond the stars. I'm nervous and excited about the new semester. Why? Well, though I'm happy to be tak...

I have to be honest. I did NOT think I would be here on the other side. The other side of what? Victory. And it's not that I didn't trust God. I didn't trust myself. I didn't think I had the energy to read one more article, to synthesize one more book, to write one more word. To think. To anything. I just KNEW I didn't have the power. There were many times when I just said, "Forget this mess. OK, let me tuck tail and go home." But I didn't. And I don't get all the glory. I don't even get all the victory. I know for a fact that it was God who carried me through this darkness, this new foreign place (in so many ways for me). It was God who didn't hate on me because my attendance at church slowed while I got lost in the forest of academia and could not find my way back out. It was God who whispered in my ear, Keep typing , or who told my body, "Don't listen to that girl anymore. Go to bed. She'll be OK." And even though I cri...

I've been real in all my posts, but today, I feel the need to be "real" real. Why? Because these days, Shonell is a bit more raw, bit more open than usual, and "real" real is all that can come out. So, what's the "real" real? I'm tired. Stop. Actually, "tired" isn't strong enough a word. Neither is "exhausted." There is no word. And no, this isn't a whine. And no, I'm not comparing my life with anyone else's. Not looking for sympathy, and actually not sure I care if anyone cares that I feel this way. I just have to let it out because it's what I feel. Period. School is kicking my butt from here to Africa and back. Within the last two weeks, I've thought about just disappearing and returning to Louisiana at least ten times. Though it's probably been more. Mind is a blur these days. Memory flickers off and on. It's been five years since I've been a student, and a lot has changed in me during...

Did you know there's humility and then there's self-loathing? I used to be one of those people who shunned every nice word from people. They would compliment me, and I would be quick to say something like, "Whatever" or I would laugh off the compliment as if the person was crazy to suggest something nice about me. Why did I do that? A few reasons... I was extremely shy, and I hated any form of attention to be on me. I truly did not know how to respond, and yes, I know all about THANK YOU, but..yeah...I'm weird. I didn't want to take the shine away from God because without him, I cease to be. I wasn't being humble. I was self-loathing. I was not validating the positive traits I possess, traits that God has infused me with and that I have , through the choices I make in this life, enhanced. And despite how badly I have disserviced God and myself, he has still done a very quick work in me and my life. Just recently, I realized how quick God has come to my res...