...Plain Upon Tablets

Recently, God has me buying a lot of things - faith-based things. Books. CDs. DVDs. I know he's getting me ready for something, and I thank him for the preparation. Today, I received Kenneth & Gloria Copeland's Healing & Wellness: Your 10-Day Spiritual Action Plan . There's a praise CD, a healing CD, and a sermon-laden DVD...in addition to daily readings and journal writing activities. For each day, there is a morning devotional time and an evening devotional time, which I love because it encompasses my entire day with God. Today was DAY ONE . The purpose of this blog site is for me to chronicle my journey into new phases of my life...to, in essence, be bare so that I can see the flaws, learn to love them, and learn to keep on moving on to the wonderful life God has in store for me. I thought it appropriate considering this was day one of this spiritual action plan to start by being bare, so... This is a recent pic of me - bathed, sans makeup or anything that c...

One of my sisterfriends on Facebook posted 15 fill-in-the-blank statements that ask for you to take an inventory of yourself, your soul. I did it and wanted to share my responses; might be a good thing for all to practice just to say hello to yourself - check in. The "Peace" Within - Self-Inventory for the Soul (my answers are italicized) 1. I feel that I have... desire ...within me. 2. I consider my work to be... very important, not only to me but also to others who can learn and feel not alone . 3. The last time I had a pleasant non-work related conversation was... last night with my SO (significant other); the conversation itself was of serious, not very pleasant material, but the sharing and relating was beyond awesome . 4. In a typical day I laugh... at least once -- usually more; I'm part of a family that has made famous the saying "laugh to keep from crying." 5. If our (me and SO) relationship were an adjective, it would be... blessed . 6. My partner and...

Yesterday, I was talking to a girlfriend, and I found myself jealous. I won't even get into the why because surely I would need a psychiatrist to analyze my mind afterward. It was for something extraordinarily petty, and what made it worse is this is a sister who is going through, so while I was comforting her over her situation, I was coveting something that in my eye didn't seem too bad. I know, bad me. And I use the word 'covet' above because as I was talking to her, that's the word that kept echoing in my heart. Every beat I heard, "covet." And despite the fact I know the word means, I went to look it up. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, covet is: To feel blameworthy desire for (that which is another's). To wish for longingly. See Synonyms at desire. And when I saw the word 'desire,' I flinched. You can desire something in a wrong way, but the word has always had a positive connotation for me, not like 'covet.' Wh...

No, this isn't a horror piece. No mystery. Nothing scary. Well, not too scary, anyway. It's about being ready for what you ask for because God has a way of making a quick work of some things, and you have to be ready for the call, ready to take the reins and do what's needed. A few weeks ago, a TTSiC (Tag Team Sister in Christ) prophesied over me, something she's been doing a lot lately. One thing she mentioned was a ministry I would develop with my SO (significant other). She said it would be counseling-related, and I had received it because for about two years now, I felt a calling to reach out to women through faith and fellowship. Fast forward to this past week, and she's telling me how she thinks her calling is elementary education, to reach children before they pick up all the bad habits of the world, making it hard to reach them. And having forgot her prophesy, I said, "That sounds perfect for you, sis. Do it. Jump on it today because like my call...

Doubt is that ex-girlfriend of Joy that refuses to go away. Like the devil, it used to be angelic, which is why Joy (like God) loved it, but then negativity and evil began to fester within Doubt, and Joy had to kick it to the curb...much like God did the devil. And like the devil, Doubt likes to rear its ugly head, especially when things seem to be going well and you're, dare I say...happy. This is me today. My brain, for most of my life, has been trained to accept defeat. This is worse than crying and being hurt over it. At least the latter shows emotion. When you're trained to accept defeat, all you do is shrug, say, "Figures," and keep on keeping on. Reconnecting with God in a major way a few years ago and being baptized on August 20, 2007, brought Doubt to my life in a major way because now I had faith, now I had expectancy; I expected great things to happen because I had faith, because I moved in that faith. And the devil hated it. And so did Doubt. Today, f...

When I moved to Lake Charles, Louisiana, eight years ago from Baltimore, I had about $50 on me, some clothes, and an apartment waiting for me to move into. I arrived in Lake Charles having no clothes because the bus lost them, and then everything that could break down in the apartment did - from refrigerator to air conditioner (and it was 100 degrees with 100% humidity when I arrived). For about a week, I was beyond depressed and quickly wondered why in the hell I was in this town. Though I went to bed that first night hot and in tears, I went to bed on a bed, for there was a bed and a dining set already in the apartment, and I was blessed to have them. That blessing couldn't compare to how I felt two days ago when I learned I was approved for the apartment in Texas. For weeks, I had been worrying about it because of the credit check. Was so sure something would happen to thwart my advances. Friends and family kept telling me God don't take back; He GIVES. He gave me Texas...

This poem was a spark that moved me to think about developing this blog and remembering the visions I wrote. I wrote this at the end of May after reading Habakkuk 2:2-3. On Tablets I once had a tablet full of dreams, but at my darkest hour, I snatched it from its secret place and ripped it to shreds, for dreams are for naught. Naught for a person like me; others got their shine, seemingly at the right place at the right time while I stood in a grocery line, making provisions for me and mine. I was working my fingers to the bone, making sure lights stayed on in the home but not on me, not on me and my dreams that I allowed to be ripped at the seams. I was making sure everyone was okay while I put a delay on me and my life ’til years ticked by and I realized I had stood still and took care of everyone else’s ills. I was sick in my heart, mind, and spirit, but had no one to hear it for they were making plans, and moving on, and seeing a future I helped to shed light on. In my darkness, wi...

Then the LORD answered me and said: Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith. Habakkuk 2:2-4 Throughout the course of a lifetime, we go on many journeys. I know I have. Not enough fingers and toes to list every journey that makes up my life. These journeys cause us to question every action, to make choices, to follow paths, to make mistakes, to accomplish goals, to - inevitably - be changed as a result of each journey. In less than two months, I will begin a journey, a new phase in my life, and the preparation for it began a little over a year ago, at a time when I was tired and done with a lot of things in my life; I was sure my life was placed on serious hold. I wanted to be a published ...