#LOVEADAY: Get Up

Years ago, I began writing myself daily love notes, which I ended up calling #loveaday notes. It started with me using 7-day pill holders and Post-its and has grown to me using notebooks, planners, and now digital journals to write my daily notes.

I am of the firm belief that if you don't fill yourself with love, it will be difficult to have the energy and resources to fully and effectively provide needed love to others. These notes often give me great food for thought.

Today's note really tapped into the heart of how I've been feeling lately, and I wanted to share what the note read and what that note made me think. In doing this, I hope you find something to glean from this sharing.

This was today's note (to the right): "Get up one more time... ...and then keep getting up!"

This note came from my experiences of the day, which I share with you below.

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When I woke up this morning, one thought blared in my head: "Why do you ever wake up when every time you do so, you're met with irritation, aggravation, and utter disappointment?"

That thought followed me throughout my day.

One of my very first #loveaday notes!

One of my very first #loveaday notes!

Here's a number for you: 4.

Four times this afternoon, I sat here at my laptop, attempting to be productive, only to crawl back to my bed, wishing to dissolve into my bedding. After a few minutes, or an hour, my #depression and #anxiety would become too big for my head, my bed, and I would trudge back to my laptop and try to be the me I truly want to be.

The fourth time I crawled into my bed, my entire being was both electrified with mental anguish and numbed by my feelings. I truly felt defeated and depleted.

And my morning thought banged against the back of my eyes; back of my head, forehead; where back of head connects with neck.

And even with all of that, "Get up" could be heard within the cacophony.

Another earlier #loveaday note.

A week's worth of notes!

It wasn't me because Shonell just didn't give a shit.

It was #God, as always, taking my hand, helping me to my feet to hold me in his arms and whisper in my ear, "Get up and try again."

So, here I am, trying, and thanking God that He loves me enough to care that I not give up.

I won't lie; as I sit here, I am in severe pain; it feels like I'm having a heart attack, like my brain is going to burst through my head and eyes, like love is being squeezed out of my heart.

But I'm here.

Trying.

And I pray you continue to try, too.