Devil's truth: You Can't Win
The devil likes to pick. He likes to niggle his way into the dark crevices of your mind, find the tiniest things that make you weak, and water them, nurture them until they rear their ugly huge heads, darkening everything in your path.
The devil starts small because he knows that if he festers in enough of your small weaknesses, he will break you. He will make you feel and believe the whisper he sends through your mind: You Can't Win.
When you get that promotion and think everything's aces, BAM, here comes the devil to say, "You can't win. The recession is still going on, and who's to say your company won't downsize?"
When you meet that man who seems to make your heart sing and you think he might be the "one," BAM, here comes the devil to say, "You can't win. Remember how much your father hated you? Remember when you were raped? Remember the bad relationships that followed that? How you think you can have a real, good relationship?"
When you go to celebrate your girlfriend's purchase of a new home and while there, you're happy and drinking mimosas, BAM, here comes the devil to say, "You can't win. You've been looking for a house for how long? Wasn't it you that convinced her to grab a piece of the American Dream? Where's your dream? That's right. It's not coming true."
No matter the scenario, whether you're at a place of blessings in abundance or you're patiently waiting for your blessings to arrive, the devil waits, ready to pounce.
What he fails to realize is "light shines in the darkness for the godly" (Psalms 112:4a, NLT).
And just as he works his way into the crevices of our dark hurts and pains, light can filter into those dark moments and provide us with the hope, the faith we need to continue.
When Tiff and I left for Lubbock, I had enough money (at least I was hoping) to pay for gas both ways, a few (read: very few) necessities for the apartment, and a bit of food. After that, I had six bucks in my wallet and wasn't expecting another piece of money to fall into my lap for at least three weeks.
On our first night in Lubbock, we went to the Dollar Tree, and we were looking through the kitchen stuff.
Initially, inside, I was terribly upset. I was scared, frightened. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I wasn't sure I'd be strong enough to be on my own again, especially considering I knew God had me here for a specific mission. Could I do what he needed?
A million and one dreaded thoughts circled in my head, and then Tiffany touched my arm.
I jumped and said, "Yeah?"
In her hand, she held pot holders and oven mitts and kitchen towels with a funky brown, green, and orange design.
"You like these?"
I smiled and took them. "Yes, you know I love me some brown...and green."
And as Tiffany busied herself, finding little dollar gems for me to buy, I held those pot holders, oven mitts, and kitchen towels, and smiled. My heart almost grew bigger than me, and I could feel the tears were imminent.
"Ooh," Tiffany said in that awe voice, "I feel the presence of God all through here. Hit me just now."
And I smiled and looked at her and said, "I feel happy right now."
"You excited?" she asked, and I could tell that she truly wanted nothing but for me to be happy.
"I'm getting there." I pointed a holder at her and added, "Your excitement for me is making me excited. I'm getting there."
And as we continued through Dollar Tree, I didn't let go of that feeling, that sliver of light that shined into my dark thoughts to whisper its own words to me and to the devil, "She is mine, and she can do all things through me because I strengthen her. You can't have her. Go."
And as we left Dollar Tree on our way to Walmart, I felt the devil do just that. GO.
And nearly three weeks later, as God has blessed me with the means to give to others and to get a few things for myself, I smile.
In my wallet, I still have the six one-dollar bills.
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