...Plain Upon Tablets

Felt one...right now...come through me thanks to my sister Samara King. I'm claiming my breakthrough.

I'm crying. Which, in and of itself, is nothing new. I'm an emotional person. At church, I was called "The Cryer." These days, my emotions stem from one important thing: I'm moving. In 11 days, I will be packing up my girlfriend's car, and she and I will be taking the 11+ hour trek to Lubbock, Texas, where she will stay a few days to get me acclimated and then I will be ALONE. The alone part doesn't bother me too much. Been craving silence. Separation for awhile now after playing Mom for siblings for years and not having the space to pray, cry, scream, speak in tongues, everything like I feel. The move part, however, is taking its toll. In a way, I've been a wanderer most of my life. To avoid family troubles and to, in a way, run away from myself, I've lived in Chicago and Jersey and Louisiana. Chicago and Jersey were short stints, but here in Louisiana, I made a life . I've lived here for eight years. I licked the wounds of losing m...

I'm stressed. And tired. And can't seem to focus my mind, heart, spirit on the things they should be focused on. Currently, I'm B-R-O-K-E and trying to figure out how I'm going to have the money to pay gas to drive to TX in two weeks let alone pay that $600 I have to give the apartment complex. It's my fault - for several reasons. I've been the "Mom" to my siblings who I live with, and I've paid most if not all the bills since we've been together, and this summer was no exception. I've never been one to save, primarily because I never had money TO save. Bills were a constant reminder that I couldn't put money away for a rainy day. And now, since I've been out of work the last two months, money has been even tighter. For a few years now, I had supplemental funds through my editorial services, but as luck would have it, some monies (for whatever reason) are not coming in like they should, money that I was banking on for the move...

In my last post, I touched upon FAITH and ACTION with James 2:18. Here's another scripture that speaks to this; it's short and to the point: "…faith without works is dead" (James 2:20, NKJ) If we believe this scripture, then we can also believe that faith and works are ALIVE. It's important to have faith, to have the belief that God will bring to us those things we ask for, those things that are vital for our journey. But faith alone will not bring us these things. We must ACT. ACT on behalf of our wants. If we don't show how badly we want something, why would God feel the need to help us achieve our goals? He wouldn't. If your life seems to be in a lull...if you feel like your success is getting further and further away from you, then it might be a good idea to chart your "faith" desires and the actions you need to complete to receive each desire. For example, one of my "faith" desires is to sell my screenplays. My "works" ...

It's been awhile, and there's a reason for that: I've been busy, tired, and borderline depressed. The week leading up to the 4th of July, I was with a girlfriend who had surgery and needed someone to stay with her. The time away put me behind on work, but the conversations we had about relationships, faith, self-love, etc. will play out in several posts here and probably in a story or two. Once I got home, I spent the next week sleepy, tired, and trying to get back on track. Spent a few days helping the mother of the same friend from above with her book, and I also spent time on the tele, on the text, and on IM with girlfriends I hadn't spent time with. Also found a lot of new women coming to me, wanting to talk, share issues, and seek some kind of thoughts on their issues. During this time of giving to others, I definitely was not giving to myself and this distressed me. This depressed me. Greatly. The lack of sleep (I had been staying up 'til 6 a.m. some day...

July marks the second installment of CLG-E's Once Upon a Time... podcast series. This month, I'm showcasing three faith poems: "On Soft, Tender Knees," "I'm Sorry," and "Loose"! You can listen below and also take the time to check out my podcast site ( CLG-E Podcasts ) for future podcasts on writing and storytelling! Powered by Podbean.com Please leave comments - let me know your thoughts!